Having New Eyes
by Enthusiastic Fish
Summary: Sequel to Sweeter Far Than Flowing Honey and entry in the NFA Keeping Up with Kate challenge. AU. Kate has to make a decision about her career at NCIS and what she really wants from her life. Gen but with hints of Kate/Stan. 6 chapters plus epilogue.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**This is my entry in the NFA Keeping Up with Kate challenge and a sequel to my AU Kate story, _Sweeter Far Than Flowing Honey_, in which Kate was saved from being killed by Ari because Ziva was there on the roof and stopped Ari before he could shoot. The story involves Ari coming back to finish the job he started and essentially ends with Ziva joining NCIS but not Gibbs' team specifically. I'd recommend you read _Sweeter Far Than Flowing Honey_, but I think that's all you need to know in order to understand this story.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own NCIS, the franchise or the agency. I only lay claim to the original characters, and I'm not making money from this endeavor. Alas.

* * *

**Having New Eyes  
**by Enthusiastic Fish

_The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes._  
_- Marcel Proust_

**Chapter 1**

"_So, talk to me, sis. You're not just calling to chat."_

Kate smiled and leaned back on the couch. She never could fool her sister. ...of course, having a psychiatrist for a sister made it harder.

"I met with Director Vance today. He had some suggestions."

"_About what?"_

"Well...do you remember Stan Burley?"

"_Of course. You dated him for a while, didn't you?"_

"Well, we did go out on a few dates, but it wasn't a real relationship. He's married to the sea."

"_How cliche of him."_

Kate chuckled. "You're telling me. Well, he's coming into port and has actually asked to be assigned a temporary duty on land rather than on sea."

"_Why?"_

"It's not because of me if that's what you're thinking. But he also wants to be able to go back out in a year. Vance is okay with that, but he wants someone to take his place."

"_Let me guess. He wasn't telling you this for fun."_

"No. He thinks that it would be good for me...get out, see more, get more experience. ...maybe re-evaluate what I want."

"_In what respect?"_ Rachel asked.

"I turned down a promotion about a year ago. Team lead came open. He suggested I might be good for the job. I said no. I liked where I was."

"_You passed on a chance to lead a team of your own?"_

"Yeah. Go figure."

"_Why?"_

"I don't know. I just..."

"_Yeah, you do. Why is it that you gave up a chance like that?"_

"Because...I don't feel ready to have that responsibility. As much as I'd like to deny it, I don't feel like I'm ready for that. I haven't told anyone about it and I didn't mention that to Director Vance, either, but...I just don't think I'm ready for something like that."

"_Why not? Kate, you've got years of experience, and Director Vance doesn't just hand out favors. He must have thought you were ready."_

"So...why me? There are a lot of other people who have more experience...have better records...have less of a history of being taken in..."

"_Kate."_

"Even at the last, I almost let my understanding of Ari kill me. I got him pegged and it made me pity him...and he would have killed me."

"_But he didn't."_

"Because Ziva was there, not because I pulled myself together in time. I like being on Gibbs' team, Rachel. I like Tim. I like Gibbs. I even like Tony most of the time. Ziva is a good friend. Abby is a great friend. Ducky is..."

"_What's the real reason you don't want this, Kate? It's not because you like these people. Agent Afloat isn't a permanent assignment. You told me that yourself."_

Kate thought about it.

"I wasn't sure I wanted this at all...but I have it...and I don't want to lose it. Every day, I feel like I dodged a bullet. I _did_ dodge a bullet. Ari would have killed me, and it's like I have to do _something_ to prove that I deserve that chance at living."

"_You don't have to prove that you deserve to live, Kate. If you really did somehow cheat Death, the best way to show you deserve your life is to live it."_

"I'm just not sure what to do, Rachel. I'm not used to feeling so uncertain."

"_I'm not used to hearing you that way, either. When do you have to make a decision?"_

"By the end of the week."

"_Okay. You know what I think you should do?"_

"What?" Kate asked, knowing that Rachel was about to pull out one of her many psychology ideas.

"_When you're not running for your life or anything like that, I think you should look at everyone and everything you see at NCIS and decide what it is you like about them, what is it that's really holding you there, what is it that you think is worth keeping. Then, you should sit down and decide if taking the Agent Afloat assignment is going to develop those things or hinder them."_

"You're such a shrink, Rachel."

Rachel laughed. _"Of course I am. Doesn't mean I'm not right. Try it, Kate. ...and I, for one, will never be sad that you're alive, no matter _what_ you choose. Love you."_

"Love you, too."

Kate hung up the phone and leaned back against the couch. Had she fallen into a rut? Was she just taking things as they came because she was comfortable where she was? Or was it because she'd found the place she wanted to be? She had always been driven to excel, no matter what the subject matter. To realize that she'd been accepting what she had achieved without that drive to get more was a surprise. Was she being true to who she was by staying? Or would she be true to herself by leaving? She wasn't used to feeling so uncertain. Even in her first years at NCIS when she'd made mistakes, some deadly, she'd felt that this was the right place...and she'd asked herself the question a lot, but lately, that question had fallen by the wayside in lieu of the nearly-omnipresent question of whether or not she should have died. How would NCIS be different if Ari _had_ succeeded in killing her that day? What would have happened to the team? What would have happened to Ziva? How many ripples had spread out from that moment when Ziva had saved her life for the first time?

Shaking her head, Kate got up and decided to go to bed. Rachel's idea made sense, even if she didn't want to admit it to her older sister. She had to evaluate what it was that made her want to stay, and whether or not she should decide to go.

Kate stared at herself in the bathroom mirror for a long moment...and a thought came to her rather suddenly. It didn't change her plan, but it added to it. She left the bathroom and grabbed her phone. Quickly, before she could change her mind, she sent a text message.

_Stan, I hear you're in port. If you're in the realm of DC, you want to grab breakfast or lunch tomorrow?  
__Kate_

Then, with the questions still swirling in her head, Kate went to bed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Stan returned her text message at about three in the morning, which woke Kate up and made her wonder just what had brought the seafaring wanderer back to land. As she had told Rachel, they'd dated a few times but never gone further than that...simply because of Stan's devotion to the sea. Kate had joked once that if Stan had lived back in the days of the European explorations, he would have been the sailor, leaving his girl (if he'd had one) to pine for him while he sailed off into the unknown, never knowing if he'd return. He'd asked her if he would be worth waiting for, and Kate had just laughed and said she'd have to wait and see.

Over the last few years, they'd had only occasional contact with each other. Not out of any awkwardness or malice, just because of how easy it was for people to drift apart.

Now, looking at the text reply, brief though it was, Kate wondered what was going on and regretted that they'd drifted so far apart.

_Breakfast sounds nice, Kate. I'm in DC. Where? When?  
__Stan_

Tired though she was, Kate decided to answer now.

_You're up late, Stan. How about the little café near NCIS, on M Street? 6:30?_

She sent the message and then waited a few minutes to see if he'd respond. He did.

_See you there. Stan_

Even for Stan, even for a text message, that seemed strange. No teasing or anything. Something was definitely up. Even if Kate knew she'd invited him out for selfish reasons, she was now a little concerned. Setting her phone by her bed, Kate rolled over and tried to get back to sleep. Morning would come early enough as it was.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Kate walked into the café and saw Stan sitting alone at a table. He looked...unsettled, which was strange for him. Normally, he was calm and collected, at least in the time Kate had known him.

Still, when he saw her, he smiled and stood up.

"Morning, Stan," she said.

"Good morning, Kate. Nice to see you." He pointed to the cup and pastry on the table. "Same as usual?" he asked.

Kate smiled. "It's been years, Stan. I can't believe you remembered."

"Ah, I don't use up enough space in my head as it is. I'm glad I got it right."

They sat down. Kate took a drink and then skewered him with a look.

"What's going on, Stan? Director Vance told me that you had requested to be taken off Agent Afloat for the next year."

"Why did he tell _you_?" Stan asked, genuinely puzzled. "I don't mind you knowing, but I'm surprised that Vance would tell you. ...oh, he offered it to you, didn't he."

"Yeah. In spite of the fact that it's supposed to be something one applies for. Hopefully, he never does that to Tim."

"Who?"

"Tim McGee. He's on Gibbs' team. Gets seasick."

Stan chuckled. "Oh, right. I've heard about him...maybe from you...or Gibbs. And he's in NCIS? Why?"

"I don't know, really. He's always seemed happy with his choice...except when we get on board a ship."

"I'm sure."

"Now, come on, Stan. Enough evasions. What's going on?"

"Nothing deep and mysterious," Stan said.

Kate could see that it _was_ making Stan anxious though. He was a fairly private person and didn't like talking about his problems with anyone. She knew better than to take offense at his reticence. She just waited for him to answer...as she knew he would eventually.

Stan sighed and stared at his coffee cup. "My sister called a few weeks ago. First time I'd heard from her in years. My mom has cancer. Terminal."

"Oh, Stan. I'm sorry."

"Yeah...me, too," Stan said with a sad smile. "It's been long enough since I talked to everyone that it took me completely by surprise. What's worse is that Mom has had cancer for two years already...and no one thought to tell me."

"Why not?"

"Because...I wasn't supposed to be an NCIS agent. I was supposed to go into the family business." Stan shook his head. "It's not that there was a real rift or anything. I wasn't disowned by any means, but I guess...part of my wanting to be an Agent Afloat was because it made it impossible for my family to nag me about doing what they wanted, what they _thought_ was best. I think Dad would have understood if he'd been around, but he wasn't there to tell everyone that I wasn't rejecting our family by choosing a different line of work. Weekly phone calls gradually became once a year...then, cards...then just the occasional email. ...but once they diagnosed Mom's cancer as terminal..." Stan shrugged helplessly. "I would have dropped everything to be there before this if they'd told me. I really would have, Kate! As much as people have razzed me about loving the sea and wanting nothing else...I still would have been there! She's my mom!"

"Of course, you would have, Stan. You don't have to tell _me_ that," Kate said. She put out her hand and he took it, looking a little embarrassed at his outburst. It was certainly more emotional than he usually was.

"I know...maybe I'm just trying to convince myself that I wouldn't have come up with some excuse for staying where I was. I mean, I told Director Vance that I'd be wanting to go back out. One week after I found out that my mom is dying, I still made arrangements to go back to what I want to do."

Kate squeezed Stan's hand.

"That's because you're practical, Stan. It's not an indication that you don't love your family, just that you have your eye on what comes next. Some people can't do that. They have to keep both eyes on the tragedy happening in front of their faces without any thought as to what they'll do later. Being able to see beyond the tragedy is not a weakness."

Stan sat quietly with a gentle smile on his face for a few seconds.

"Thanks for coming, Kate. I feel a little selfish, talking so much about my problems without even asking how you're doing. ...but I'll admit it: when I got your text last night, it was...just nice to know that I'd have someone to talk to."

"What about Gibbs?"

Stan chuckled. "Can you imagine unloading family problems on Gibbs? Even if he _was_ sympathetic, he wouldn't show it. It would spoil his image. I needed overt sympathy, not understood sympathy."

"And you knew you'd get that from me?" Kate asked with a grin.

"Yeah, I did. You never were one to hide your feelings. I always appreciated that about you."

"And here I thought it was my looks."

"Oh, that was just a nice bonus."

"How long are you going to be here in DC?"

"About a month. I'll be heading back to Minnesota and stay there for a few months."

"That's all?" Kate asked.

Stan nodded. "Tammy said that if she survived six months she'd be lucky."

"I'm really sorry, Stan."

"Yeah." Then, he visibly shook off his sadness. "So...did you have something you were wondering? Want some tips for being an Agent Afloat?"

"Well...to be honest, Stan, I'm not sure if I want it."

"Why not? _You_ don't get seasick, do you?"

"No," Kate said with a smile. "But I really like where I am. I'm not sure I want anything more...and you have no idea how strange it feels to be saying that."

"Well, I'm hardly in a position to be telling anyone to try something new...but it's really a compliment that Vance offered it to you. _I_ had to apply...and then argue that it was in everyone's best interests that I stayed on. I've served on a few different carrier groups and it's really a great experience...once you learn your way around the ship. _That_ takes a few days...maybe a week or more."

"I have to tell Director Vance my decision by the end of the week."

"I hope you're going to give it some real consideration, Kate," Stan said. "The Agent Afloat position is good on your resume if that's something that matters to you."

"It doesn't to you?"

"Not a bit. I like where I am. I've tried other things, other positions. They're not for me. Give me a million tons of steel under me, the open ocean, and a bunch of sailors and I'm happy."

"I haven't really tried anything else in NCIS. I wasn't even going to work here initially, you know."

"I'm sure Gibbs had something to do with it."

"Yeah. He hired me a few seconds after he found out that I'd quit the Secret Service. I hadn't even had time to think about anything more than the fact that I didn't have a job anymore."

Stan laughed. "Sounds like Gibbs. Speaking of...is it time to wrap up here?"

Kate looked at her watch. "Oh, it is."

"I have to meet with HR to get everything straightened out. Mind if I get a ride?"

"Not at all. You bought my breakfast."

"Wow, you're easy."

"Careful, Agent Burley. Just because I like you doesn't make you immune to the elbows of death."

Stan smiled and put up his hands in mock terror. Then, he stood up and escorted Kate out of the café, unassumingly opening the door for her. It was such a natural gesture from him that only her awareness of how uncertain Stan was feeling about things kept Kate from commenting that it was too bad Stan was married to the sea. Even if he'd shrugged it off, she could see how deeply he was disturbed by the fact that his family hadn't seen fit to tell him anything...and that he'd apparently been away for so long that his mother had developed cancer without him knowing. Interesting that, even when they'd been communicating regularly, Kate had never known all this about Stan. That was one of the things about him. He didn't like making waves and he kept things to himself...not out of a lack of trust, just a natural inclination toward privacy.

"What are you thinking about so assiduously, Agent Todd?" Stan asked on the short drive over.

"You," Kate said, honestly. "You're an interesting tangle, Agent Burley."

"Wow. I think I'm complimented."

"You are...and seriously, Stan, if you're having trouble or if you just want to talk, you know you can call me...or at least you _should_ know that. I'm not Gibbs, but I won't be all mushy either."

"Hard to change the habits of a lifetime," he said.

There was no regret, nor pride in the statement. It was just a fact. Stan was a man who took life as it came. If he could get what he wanted, all the better, but if not, he'd handle it. ...but that self-sufficient attitude also led to relative isolation. Clearly, he didn't mind that in the main, but there were times...like now, when he seemed to notice that he didn't have a wide circle.

They reached NCIS and Kate drove to her usual parking space. They both got out of the car and headed inside.

"Keep my offer in mind. It's a sincere one," Kate said. "I do like you, Stan."

Stan moved over beside her and put his arm around her shoulders.

"The feeling is mutual, Kate...and same goes for me. If you want to talk more about Agent Afloat while I'm here, by all means, give me a call. In fact...even if you don't. I wouldn't mind having the occasional shoulder to cry on or lovely lady to call on."

Kate couldn't imagine Stan crying. She tried to conjure up the image, but it was impossible. Stan was too unflappable to cry.

"_You_ could call _me_, you know," she said. "I'd accept a polite invitation from a gentleman caller."

They were passed into headquarters and got on the elevator. The doors opened on the bullpen, but Stan was headed to HR. As the doors closed once more, Stan waved at Kate.

"I'll keep it in mind, Kate. Thanks for breakfast!"

The doors closed, and Kate turned toward her place of employment, the place at which she'd been working for the last seven, almost eight years of her life.

So...what was it about this place that had tamed her ambition? Was it really tamed or just stunted?


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Kate stood by her desk, looking around. While no one was here, she could honestly say that there was little that should be holding her here. It was just a place. Her desk was her desk. It had a lot of little things that marked it as her space. Her sketchbook was securely locked away from prying eyes...Tony's prying eyes. There were a few people in the bullpen right now, but none of the team. Just her, and it surprised her how empty it felt when she was the only one here.

Then, the elevator to Abby's lab opened up, and Tim stepped off. He saw her and smiled.

"Good morning, Kate! How was your weekend?" he asked.

She was amazed, as she had been over and over since Ari's death, how different, how much more confident Tim was now. To be sure, he wasn't ever going to be as self-confident as...well, as _most_ of the other agents here, but he had come into his own in a way that he hadn't before. He was...getting more finished.

"Kate?" Tim asked. "You okay?"

Kate laughed. Her week of reflection was liable to lead people to think she was losing her mind.

"I'm fine. Just thinking. I had a very nice weekend. You?"

"Yeah. Just quiet."

"Alone?"

Tim blushed a little but smiled. "I didn't say that."

"Who is she, Tim?" Kate asked.

Tim's grin widened. "A gentleman never tells."

Kate returned the grin.

"It's nothing serious," Tim said. "Just...friends." He nodded to himself and sat down...and then, a look of worry crossed his face. "Don't tell Tony, okay? He'll keep prodding, and I get so tired of that."

"You can count on my discretion," Kate said.

"Thanks."

Tim focused on his computer, going through his morning ritual. Kate smiled as she watched him before sitting at her own computer. The elevator dinged.

"Good morning, one and all! Guess who had an amazingly successful weekend!" Tony announced.

"Doing what, Tony?" Kate asked. "As if you wouldn't tell us anyway."

Tony grinned. "Poker! Poker, Kate! And yours truly happened to bring it on."

"Does that mean you're going to pay me back for lunch last week?" Tim asked.

"I didn't say that," Tony said. "I didn't bring my new gains with me to work! What do you take me for?"

"A tightwad," Tim retorted, but without malice.

"Oh, Probie. I'm _hurt_!"

Kate smiled as Tony and Tim continued the banter, both actually getting work done, in spite of the back and forth. Tony was another who had changed somewhat, not to the same degree as Tim, but he had let himself be more serious, not feeling the need to joke around as much as they all felt more secure...safer. Kate was glad she'd been here to see it. That was part of it, she supposed. She was here to see it, and she felt all-too-keenly the potential of not being able to. As much as Tony had the ability to drive her nuts, she couldn't help but smile at him.

"I hope you're all working," Gibbs said as he walked in, breezing by them all in his usual fashion.

Kate smiled and gave an affirmative, along with Tony and Tim. Gibbs grunted in his usual way and sat down. Even when a big case wasn't going on, there was always work to do. Gibbs, with his seeming omniscience (a perception he enjoyed, even if he would deny it), always had something going on, but he was also keeping his eye on his team. Things got by him occasionally...because he _wasn't_ omniscient, but he tried to make sure he was aware. Even with his fast-and-loose playing with the rules, no one could accuse Gibbs of neglecting his job. It was his life...much more than any of the rest of them. His life revolved around getting results.

...but he, too, had changed since Ari's death, in part because of Kate's accusations. He didn't take as many chances with his own life as he had before. She wasn't sure that she had really convinced him that they valued him, but he _had_ accepted that flaunting his own safety could easily lead to members of his team being injured.

"Gibbs, Lovitz said that you were wanting my help."

Kate looked up once more and smiled at their roving Mossad liaison.

Ziva caught her glance and smiled as well. Even after a year, she was still a bit stiff with them all, but slowly was letting them in. Tim, in particular. Kate wasn't sure if it was because of what Ari had done to him or if it was due to Tim's reaction to Ari's death...or if it was just that he had been willing to help her when she had first moved here. Whatever the reason, she was easier around Tim than anyone else except for Kate herself. Their awkward friendship had grown as Ziva had come to accept Kate's friendship as genuine.

Gibbs nodded and then looked around at them all, including them in what he was about to say.

"We're reopening a cold case."

"Which one, Boss?" Tony asked.

"The Shelley murder."

Tim furrowed his brow. "Why? ...I mean, it's not that I think we shouldn't, but what's got _us_ doing that?"

"An anonymous message that states if we don't solve it in the next week, there's going to be another murder."

"What?" Tony asked. "All the indications were that it was a random act of violence. There was nothing to say it was anything else."

"Doesn't mean it's not, Tony," Kate said. "It could be someone close to Lt. Shelley who has decided it needs to be solved and we're not going to do it without a threat. It could also be the killer. It could be a bluff...but who wants to risk that it's not?"

"I don't," Tim murmured, almost to himself.

"Neither does Vance," Gibbs said. "We couldn't solve this one two years ago. We're going to need the extra help now. Kate..."

"Shelley's family?"

"Exactly. See if any of them fit the profile of the kind of person who would make this threat. Tony, Ziva, start on the old case files. See if there's anything we missed. McGee, get with Abby."

"The message?"

Gibbs nodded.

"It was sent in an email. Abby should have it by now."

Tim leapt to his feet. "On it, Boss."

Kate went with Tony and Ziva to get the files and evidence. A lot of the information was digitized, but she liked getting her hands on the hard copy. Maybe it was old-fashioned of her, but it was her preference.

"Enjoy, Kate," Tony said as he settled down to look through material. "I know we will."

Kate laughed. "Don't let Tony slack off, Ziva," she said. "He's so lazy when he has to do real work."

"Ha ha," Tony said.

Ziva grinned. "I will keep him on task. I am certain that is why Gibbs wanted my help. No one else could threaten to kill him and mean it."

"Yeah, I'm really scared," Tony groused. "Maybe instead of ganging up on me, you two could get to work yourselves."

Kate grinned. "I think I can manage that."

She took her list of Lt. Shelley's friends and family, the details of the interviews they'd done with them and headed back to her desk to wade through them all.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

"Agent Todd, you seem deep in thought."

Kate pulled her attention away from her computer screen.

"Hi, Ducky. Did Gibbs send you up to help me?"

"In a manner of speaking. He did mention that you were wading through the interviews with Shelley's family and might welcome another educated point of view."

"I definitely do."

Ducky winked at her and grabbed Tony's chair. He rolled it over beside her.

"What have you found so far?"

"Nothing in his family. They all seemed to have accepted what happened. They were shocked by it, of course, but even when we were investigating, I remember being impressed by how much they supported each other...and it seemed genuine to me."

"I see no reason to disagree," Ducky said. "What about his friends?"

"Well, he had friends who were in the Navy like him, and they were understandably angry about Shelley dying here where he should have been safe."

"Divide and conquer?" Ducky suggested.

"All right. Here are the interviews I haven't got to yet."

Ducky took the small pile and started reading through. Kate took a moment to think about the ME. Ducky had always been supportive, and Kate had appreciated that. He also had an old-fashioned gallantry that never made her feel belittled. It was clear that Ducky had nothing but respect for her and for what she could do...and his behavior was far from treating her as fragile. Kate looked back at the interview and smiled to herself. She still remembered the first time she'd met Ducky. He had an excellent bedside manner and she'd always wondered what had drawn him into his job.

"Something interesting, Caitlin?"

Kate smiled and shook her head. "Just reflecting."

"On what, if I may ask?"

Kate hadn't told anyone about Vance's offer yet, preferring to make her decision without the kind of input she'd get from Tony and Tim...and even Gibbs. ...but Ducky was someone she felt she could trust. He would understand her reticence and her confusion if anyone would.

"Can you keep it a secret for now?"

"For now?"

Kate nodded. "By the end of the week, I'll be telling everyone, but I need to keep it to myself for now."

"You can count on me."

Kate took a breath and let it out. "Director Vance has offered me a position as an Agent Afloat...taking Stan's place."

"Stan Burley?"

"Yes."

"And you aren't sure if you want to accept?"

"That's right. I'm trying to figure out what I want most because I've been happy here. I haven't had any desire to move on, and while I know this won't be permanent, I...guess I'm just not sure what my choice should be."

Ducky leaned back in Tony's chair. "Ah, a conundrum, indeed. I can well understand why you might wish to mull this over in private. If you choose to take the position, you will hear some degree of outcry from your coworkers."

"Exactly."

"It's because they care for you, you know."

"I know. The feeling is mutual. I was talking with my sister and she suggested that I take a few days to evaluate what it is that I really like about being here and whether or not leaving it for a time would be detrimental."

"I don't think it would be, but since it's not my decision, nor my life, I wouldn't suggest that I know what is best for you."

Kate smiled. "I know you wouldn't. I guess I'm just surprised by how unsure I am. A few years ago, I would have jumped at the opportunity for any kind of career advancement. Now...I'm not sure."

"You have the time to think about it?"

"Yeah."

"Then, don't rush it. If you don't have to give your answer right now, taking a few days won't hurt."

"And there is a case to solve."

"Precisely...but if you'd like to talk again, you may find me a sympathetic ear."

"Thanks. Stan made the same offer...by the way, I think he might appreciate a call from you."

"Really?"

Kate nodded. She wasn't sure if she should tell Ducky what Stan had confided to her.

"He's taking a year off Agent Afloat."

"Really," Ducky said. "Something serious, then."

Kate nodded.

"I most certainly _will_ give him a call, perhaps tonight."

Kate smiled and looked again at her interview...and then looked more closely.

"Ducky, what do you think about this one?" she asked, handing it over.

Ducky took it. "Well, this young man certainly seems to have been extremely angry about what happened."

"I remember him now. He even threatened to take revenge himself."

"Yes. He was a close friend?"

"No. That's the interesting thing," Kate said. "They had been classmates but hadn't been close for a long time."

"Fascinating. I think he might well be worth speaking to again."

"Definitely. Let's see if there are any others."

As they each dove back into their files, Kate looked at Ducky again. It was another moment when she just enjoyed where she was and what she was doing.

...which didn't make her choice any easier.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

They worked hard during that day, but, threatening message or not, Gibbs didn't hold them there late. It was more important for them to approach this cold case fresh than it was to focus on it nonstop. Over the next couple of days, they reinterviewed the people from Kate's list. Abby analyzed a lot of the old evidence, but they were hitting roadblock after roadblock. It meant that Kate's time for reflection took a back seat to everything else. Ducky didn't bring it up again although he gave her a special smile and mentioned to her that he'd talked to Stan who had seemed grateful for the chance to chat.

"Who have we missed?" Gibbs demanded.

Kate looked at her list. "Only Daniel Roman. Childhood friend, drifted apart. He was strangely intense about his interest in our finding Lt. Shelley's killer. Last known address isn't his anymore. The family hasn't heard from him in a year."

"Tony."

"Nothing in the files," Tony said. "Ziva and I have been through them five times. Abby's run the evidence twice. I really can't see that we missed anything."

"But we must have," Ziva corrected. "If this is not a random murder, then there is something that we have not seen, some secret that perhaps they do not even know they know." She paused. "That made sense, did it not?"

Kate smiled. "Perfect sense, Ziva," she said.

"Boss?"

"What, McGee?" Gibbs asked.

"This might be nothing."

"Spit it out, McGee."

Tim nodded. "Well, one of the places that Shelley and Roman used to hang out together was at one of the city libraries. When we talked to Lt. Shelley's mother, she mentioned it. One of the branches near Takoma Park."

Gibbs looked at the map Tim had brought up on the plasma. Shelley had been killed near there, but in Chillum, not Takoma. He nodded.

"Tim, Kate...go check out the library. See if anyone remembers seeing Roman recently."

Kate nodded and gestured to Tim. He jumped up and nodded to follow her. When the elevator doors closed, Tim looked at Kate but didn't say anything.

"What's up, Tim?"

"Nothing."

Kate smiled. "Yeah, right. That wasn't very convincing, Tim. Try again."

The doors opened and they walked out.

"Really. It's nothing!"

"Uh-huh."

Tim steadfastly said nothing until they were on their way up to Takoma Park.

"Tony heard that you might be leaving," Tim said suddenly.

"Where did he hear _that_?"

"You know Tony. He's always hearing things...whether it's true or not. Is it?" Tim asked.

Kate hadn't wanted to tell anyone before she'd made up her own mind, but she couldn't outright lie to Tim. ...actually, she didn't think she could outright lie to Tony either.

"Yes, it is. I haven't made up my mind yet, but Director Vance offered me the chance to go on Agent Afloat for a year."

"A year?"

"Special circumstances," Kate said.

"Would you come back after?" Tim asked.

"If you'd have me," Kate said.

They reached an intersection and the light turned red. Tim was quiet for a few seconds and then he covered her hand with his.

"Always, Kate," he said softly.

The sincerity was deeper than Kate had expected.

"What's going on, Tim?"

"I...I've just been thinking about how things can change so quickly. A person is here and then they're gone. Things can happen. People can change." Tim smiled. "Maybe it's a mid-life crisis, but I'll always be happy to have you back, Kate. After everything that happened with Ari and...and talking with Ziva about her life back in Israel..." He shrugged. "We can take life for granted. I don't want to do that."

"Doesn't sound like you are," Kate said and patted Tim's hand before setting the car in motion again.

"Sorry for being so...serious."

"There's nothing wrong with being serious, Tim. It did seem sudden."

Tim shrugged again. "Well, when Tony said he'd heard that...it made me think. You'll tell us when you decide, won't you? It's not going to be a case of you suddenly being gone?"

"No, I'll tell you. I have to decide this week. You'll know."

"Thanks. I'm glad...and I'm glad it's not me."

Kate chuckled. "I think Director Vance knows better than to inflict that on you."

"I hope so."

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Gibbs strode into Abby's lab with Tony and Ziva following close behind.

"Well, Abbs?" he said.

Abby turned around and squinted at him.

"Gibbs, I don't have anything."

"The email?"

"Tim and I set up a trace on it, but we haven't got any results yet."

There was a ding on her computer. Abby turned around quickly and looked at her monitor.

"Whoa...Gibbs, you are _freaky_."

"What is it, Abby?" Gibbs asked.

"The guy who sent this email was _really_ good at hiding his tracks. I mean, we've been working on this for two days!"

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that whoever sent the message is a computer geek on Tim's level."

"That puts Roman out of the running," Tony said. "According to what we've found, he was _not_ the computer-expert type."

"He was more like _you_, was he not, Tony?" Ziva asked innocently. "A jock, yes?"

"I'll pretend I didn't hear you say that."

"Why not? Is it hard to–?"

_Thwack!_

_Thwack!_

"Focus!" Gibbs said loudly. "Abby, the message."

"Right!" Abby said. She put it up on the bigger screen. "It's from right around here. The IP address is local, but he bounced that email around the world before he got it to us."

"So if it's not Daniel Roman doing this, who is it? ...and is Roman involved somehow?"

"And if he is not, does that make this more or less serious?" Ziva asked.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Kate and Tim walked out of the library.

"Well, that was a bust," Kate said.

"Yeah. Sorry. I was hoping that it was something," Tim said.

"It's not your fault, Tim. It was a good idea. Just didn't pan out." Kate did her usual casual look around as she put on her sunglasses...and paused for a split second before continuing. "...actually, it looks like we might have hit paydirt, Tim."

It was a testament to Tim's growth and experience that he didn't instantly start looking around.

"What do you mean?" he murmured.

"I mean that Danial Roman is across the street, watching us."

"How do you want to play it? Open or sneaky?"

Kate thought about it.

"Let's go open, but you be ready if he starts to run. I don't know if he'll bolt or not. You got your shoes laced up?"

Tim chuckled. "Tony says that tube socks would make me run faster."

"Tony says tube socks can do anything. I told him that he was preparing himself for support hose when he got old. Shut him right up."

Tim laughed out loud as they crossed the street. They walked toward Roman, making it clear where they were going.

"Daniel Roman?" Kate asked. "We're with NCIS. We'd like to ask you some questions."

Roman stopped, looked around...and then made a run for it. Tim didn't pause. He took off instantly, with Kate right behind. With his longer legs and bigger stride, Tim soon pulled ahead of Kate. When Roman dodged into an alley, Tim followed and disappeared from view. Kate pushed herself to go faster.

Then, she heard two gunshots. She hadn't seen any sign that Roman was armed. Who was shooting? Tim?

As she reached the alley, she saw Roman lying on the ground. She pulled out her gun and ran over to him. She checked for a pulse and felt a weak one. She got her phone and quickly made a call for backup and for help...but she had to find out where Tim was. Had he been shot, too?

There was an extra alley off the alley. It was like a sub-alley. Kate moved down it cautiously, secure in the knowledge that there was help on the way but knowing she couldn't wait for it. When she was halfway down, there was movement on the other end. Suddenly, Tim was thrust out from behind a garage.

"Recognize him?"

The voice was unfamiliar, but Tim was standing there staring at her, an arm around his neck, a gun to his head. He looked worried, annoyed at himself, but strangely calm. Kate smiled at him and tried to pass a message.

_Help is coming,_ she mouthed. _Keep your eyes on me._

Tim nodded.

"I recognize him," Kate said. "I don't recognize you."

"Too bad."

The voice was arrogant, confident.

"You didn't send the message," Kate said with sudden understanding.

There was a pause, just long enough to confirm to Kate what she was beginning to suspect. The message hadn't been a threat. It had been a warning...but from whom? Roman?

"What do you want?" she asked.

"I want to get out of here. If you want your partner here to get out of this alive, you'll let me go."

"Whoever you are, you should know better than that," Kate said, keeping her eyes on Tim and Tim alone, watching for any clue Tim might be able to give her. "We are officially at a standstill here. I can't let you walk away with my partner in danger, and you can't let him go. You've already shown that you're dangerous, and I don't know who you are."

Tim maintained eye contact.

_Not family,_ he mouthed back to her.

Kate nodded.

"That's your problem, not mine."

"Well, considering I don't know why it is that you attacked my partner, I'd say it's your problem, too."

"Why?"

"Because I can't help you if I don't know why you're doing this."

Another long pause. Kate looked back over her shoulder and saw movement. She put back her hand to still them, keep them quiet and out of view...no matter who they were.

...but still, she kept her eyes on Tim.

_Help is here. Watch me._

Tim blinked twice to show he'd got the message. He hadn't said a word as yet, choosing to be quiet and ready for action. He was so calm as he stared at her. Kate found it almost unnerving.

Briefly, Kate caught a glimpse of someone overhead, someone on the roof of the garage, moving silently. There was a confrontation coming with this stranger who had suddenly become part of their cold case. Hopefully, they would all get out of it alive.

Tim was still staring at her. Kate saw a hand above her counting down. She focused on Tim. Letting him know that the moment was coming.

"You're not interested in helping me. You only want your man back."

"Of course, I do," Kate said, keeping her voice nonconfrontational. It was important that he be lulled into a false sense of security so that he wasn't ready when the attack came. "Did you shoot Daniel Roman?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out."

"You know you did," Tim said, breaking his silence.

The arm around his neck tightened and the man shook him a little.

The hand overhead reached one finger. Kate knew it was now or never.

"Now!" she shouted and ran forward.

Tim struggled to get away right as Ziva jumped down from the rooftop and Gibbs came around shouting for the man to drop his weapon. Kate reached Tim and pulled him away from the man just as his gun went off. Tim pulled with her and freed himself from his captor's grasp. There was a scuffle as the man fought with Ziva and Gibbs. Kate ran back and aimed her gun once more.

"Stop! You're finished," she shouted. "It's over! Four to one. You're outnumbered."

The man stopped and looked at them all with loathing, but he glared at Kate as Ziva cuffed him and Gibbs read him his rights. His eyes were full of hatred but also, strangely, annoyance...as if this was just one more thing he had to deal with.

Kate was glad to look elsewhere as the man was taken away. She walked to Tim who was standing with Tony in the alley.

"You all right, Tim?" she asked.

"As long as feeling stupid isn't serious injury," he said.

"What happened?" Tony asked. "Who is that guy?"

"Don't know," Tim said. "I've never seen him before. Roman?"

"They got him off in the ambulance, but I don't know if he's going to make it or not," Tony said seriously. "It was pretty bad."

"Yeah. He got too far ahead of me and when he turned the corner, I lost him. He got shot and staggered out of that little path and then fell. I pulled out my gun, but that guy was just too fast and I didn't see where he was coming from. He got me."

"Good thing you had Kate here, then," Tony said with a smile. "She'd talk anyone out of anything."

"I'm glad she was here," Tim said, nodding. "You saved my life."

"You are all right, McGee?" Ziva asked as she joined them.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Ziva," Tim said. "Just a bit embarrassed that he got me."

"Well, we got him," she said. "Your distraction was perfectly timed. He did not like you speaking out."

"I know. He told me to keep my mouth shut or he'd kill me...but I didn't need to say anything. Kate understood."

Ziva smiled at Kate and then took Tim by the hand and led him out of the alley. Tony looked after them speculatively.

"You think?" he asked.

"No. They're _friends_, Tony."

"Yeah, you and that strange idea that men and women can be _friends_," he said with a laugh.

Kate slugged him on the arm just slightly harder than necessary.

"Don't start with me, DiNozzo. I've had a long day."

"Oh, come on! It's not even quitting time yet," Tony said and slung his arm around her shoulders. "You did good, Kate."

"Thanks."

"So?" he asked.

"So what?" Kate returned, knowing what Tony was referring to, but not wanting to get into it right now.

"Nothing. I'm glad you were here."

That's all he said, but Kate heard more. It was one of those things that she kept coming back to. What if she hadn't been here at all? Would it have mattered?

_Do I stay or go?_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Kate sat alone at her desk for a few minutes. She had the time, but she wasn't thinking about her decision. She was waiting for Tim. He hadn't said much since they had arrested the likely killer of Lt. Shelley, a man by the name of Brock Green. Gibbs had conducted the interrogation while Tony and Tim had been sent to talk to Daniel Roman if possible. Tim was currently in a debriefing (which Kate had already gone through earlier) and Kate wanted a chance to talk to him before she left. ...but it was taking a while, and so she walked over to Tim's desk and wrote a little note saying she wanted to talk to him and then she went down to Abby's lab, knowing _that_ wouldn't be boring.

The music assaulted her ears as soon as she stepped into the lab, as it always did, but by this time, Kate was well used to that and it hadn't made her deaf...yet.

"Abby?" she called over the blaring noise.

"Kate!"

Abby ran out of her office and hugged Kate tightly.

"I'm so glad you're okay. I've been swamped with stuff today and I didn't get a chance to hug you and Tim after what happened!"

Kate smiled and hugged Abby back. Her effusive nature couldn't ever be dimmed for long.

"That's why I came down," Kate said.

"Is Tim okay?"

"As okay as he can be after that. He's in a debriefing."

Abby shook her head. "Tim's been kind of weird this week. He was really quiet today and on Monday, he seemed different. I couldn't get him to tell me what it was."

Kate silently counted her lucky stars that work had kept her from hanging out with Abby this week. With everything she'd been thinking about, Abby would have noticed.

"Tim's not exactly Tony, you know," Kate said.

"No, this is different, Kate. I've tried to get him to talk about it, but he wouldn't. Do _you_ know anything?"

"No...but I want to talk to him tonight. Do you mind if I commandeer him?"

Abby considered what should have been a rhetorical question...and would have been for anyone else.

"I guess I can hold off on hugging him until tomorrow...but only until tomorrow."

Kate grinned. "I'm not kidnapping him, Abby. I just need to talk to him."

"Then, you have my permission," Abby said, only half-joking.

"Thank you, your majesty."

Suddenly, Abby hugged Kate again. "I'm so glad that you're okay, Kate! I don't like it when people leave."

Kate stifled a sigh. That was the hard thing about Abby. Kate knew that if she took this assignment, Abby would freak out, at least initially. For someone as open as Abby seemed to be, she got very upset about things changing.

"I'm glad I'm okay, too. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Good night, Kate."

Kate extricated herself from Abby's grasp and headed back upstairs. As she'd hoped, Tim was sitting at his desk.

"Tim?"

"Yeah? I got your note."

"Do you mind?"

Tim shook his head. "No. I don't. What is it?"

"Let's go outside, Tim."

Tim seemed a little bemused as he allowed himself to be conducted out of NCIS, absently picking up his bag and following Kate out of the building.

"What's up?" he asked.

"That's what I want to ask you."

Tim furrowed his brow. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, today. When Green was holding you, you didn't seem scared at all. You just stood there."

Tim laughed a little. "Kate, he had a gun on me and had told me to stay still and keep quiet or he'd kill me."

"It's more than that...and you know it," Kate said.

Tim walked over to a bench and sat down. Kate followed suit.

"As soon as I saw you," he said softly, "I knew that if there was any way I'd be okay, I would be...because you were there. I was terrified. You couldn't tell because I had to stay still and quiet...but I was scared. I wanted nothing more than to get away from him. I only wanted to be free again, but I couldn't. When I saw you standing there, passing along those little messages, I felt...like there was hope."

"And after it was over?"

"After it was over..." Tim shrugged. "...I wasn't so calm. After it was over, I realized how close I came to being killed. When we talked with Roman, I couldn't help but see myself in his place. The only reason Gibbs sent me along was because he figured that if Roman survived and could talk, he'd be willing to talk to me. He couldn't say much...only that Shelley shouldn't have died, that Green was actually after him two years ago, but Lt. Shelley had taken his place and died for it. Green isn't talking, of course, but once Roman can tell us more...I guess our case is solved. Two years of nothing and then suddenly...just like that." Tim looked Kate in the eye. "Years of having you around...and then, suddenly...you're gone. Just like that."

"No, Tim. It wouldn't be like that. For one thing, I'd have to go through extra training for it, and for another, I promised you that I would tell everyone before I left."

"Don't get me wrong," Tim said. "I think you should take it."

"You do?" Kate asked in surprise.

Tim nodded. "I think it's a great opportunity...but the selfish part of me doesn't want you to go. You've been here since I first joined the team...and you've seen me through some...some bad times. Abby's been there...so has Tony...and Ziva...even Gibbs in his own way...but..." He shrugged again. "...I'm the older brother in my family. It's...just kind of nice having someone I can lean on." He laughed a little. "Someone who's _not_ Tony."

"I wouldn't be disappearing off the face of the earth, Tim."

"I know. Like I said, it's the selfish part of me. ...and you were there to save me again today."

"Anyone else would have done the same thing, Tim."

"I know, but you were the one who was there. It was you I saw. No one else." Tim took a breath. "The shrink says I need to talk with her for a few weeks...even though I said I wasn't too bad. She says these things can sneak up on you if you're not ready for them."

"She could be right."

Tim looked at her very seriously. "Kate...promise me you'll come back."

"What?"

"When you decide to go, when you decide to take Vance's offer...come back."

"Tim...what's going on?"

He shook his head and turned away. "Maybe it _is_ a mid-life crisis," he muttered.

"Come on, Tim. I'm not going to make fun of you for it."

"I know. Ziva and I...we hang out a lot. We've been pretty good friends since she came here, but it's...it's a weird kind of friendship, and she's started telling me things about the way she's lived her life up to now, things she's done...people she's lost. I'm glad she's opening up, but still..." Tim turned back. "The last couple of days...I don't want to lose people the way she has. That's all...and that includes _you_."

Kate hugged Tim tightly.

"You won't lose me, Tim. No matter what."

"You said once that there was a chance that we could die every time we walked through the door."

"And it's still true, but you still won't lose me. Not ever."

Tim smiled a little. "Thanks, Kate."

"For what?"

"For not making me feel stupid or wussy."

"No one could ever call you stupid, and you're definitely not wussy."

"Thanks."

Tim got up.

"And Tim?" Kate added, standing up herself.

"Yeah?"

"You should talk to the shrink about this stuff, too. Might as well do it while you can. Doesn't mean it's serious, but it might help you."

"I'll keep that in mind." He turned to go.

"You really think I should do this, Tim?" Kate asked.

Tim turned back.

"Yeah. I do...because I can tell that you really want it, but you're not sure if it's right. I'm not you, but I think it's right for you...even if I'll miss you when you're gone."

Kate smiled.

"Thanks, Tim."

She watched Tim walk away and then sat back down on the bench again. Tim had opened her eyes to some things that she hadn't even considered before, and she found that she wanted to get more information from Stan...but not about Agent Afloat...about other things.

She pulled out her phone.

_Stan,  
__You up for breakfast again tomorrow? Breakfast and questions?_

She sent the message and then waited. Only a few minutes later, she got a reply.

_Kate,  
__Of course. Same time, same place?_

She smiled and texted him back.

_Yes._

And then one more message.

_Thanks for siccing Ducky on me._

The smile turned into a soft laugh.

_My pleasure. See you in the morning._

Then, she got up and headed for her car.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Stan was there waiting for her again when she arrived at the cafe...and he'd ordered for her again. Kate smiled.

"Stan, you're always anticipating."

"That's my job...and I'm not the only one. Ducky seemed almost worried when he called."

"I didn't tell him anything beyond that you might welcome a call."

Stan leaned back in his chair. "I did. Thanks for that."

"How are you doing?"

He shrugged. "Okay. I'm going to Minnesota for a few days next week to see my family. Then, I'll be back...to train you?"

Kate smiled. "I wanted to ask you something...but not about Agent Afloat."

"What?"

"You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

Stan furrowed his brow. "What is it?"

"Why did you leave Gibbs' team?"

Stan straightened in his chair and shifted uncomfortably.

"Why does it matter?"

"Maybe it doesn't, but I'm trying to...figure things out. You made the choice to leave and it doesn't seem like you've regretted it."

"Mostly, I haven't. There are a few different reasons why I left." Stan laughed. "Funny how easy it is to just not talk about it. I'm not sure why. I was on Gibbs' team for five years and I learned a lot from him. I've never regretted it. ...but it was time to move on, even if I moved to the wrong place first."

"Which was?"

"My own team. Couldn't hack it. I did an okay job, but it wasn't good for me."

"How?"

Stan looked around the café and Kate got the message. She picked up her coffee and pastry and stood. Stan walked with her out of the café. They drove to the Yard and then started to walk together.

"I get panic attacks, Kate."

"Really? I would never have guessed."

"I'm too calm?" Stan asked.

"Maybe...more like...settled."

"I have my triggers and being on Gibbs' team got a bit hard in terms of managing them...and keeping people from knowing about them. When I had my own team..." He shook his head. "No. Not for me. But more than that, I just realized, after being there for five years, that I needed more than I was getting under Gibbs. I wasn't going to get it at headquarters. I wasn't going to get it anywhere on land. The first time I got to be an Agent Afloat...it was like a revelation."

Stan looked toward the Anacostia River.

"It was where you wanted to be?" Kate asked softly.

"Yeah. I haven't had a single full-blown panic attack since I started it. That's more than ten years. I still have little ones, but I'm used to them. I've been getting them since I was in high school. The sea is the place I belong. I need to go back to it when I can, but my family has to come first."

"Any regrets?" Kate asked.

Stan looked at her and then out at the river again.

"Not really. I guess if there's any one regret, it's the separation I've had from my family...but that's more my own fault than the fault of what I'm doing. In this modern age, I could have a lot of contact with them, but I didn't. Hopefully, when I go back, there won't be the awkwardness I'm afraid of."

"There might be at first, you know. If you haven't seen them for a while...and if you're feeling guilty."

"Guilt? Me? No!" Stan said and laughed. Then, he sighed. "I've really liked my life, Kate. Why is it suddenly a problem now?"

"I can't answer that, I'm afraid. Maybe it's just that Life throws things at us to see if we can handle them. A sudden shock...an unasked-for opportunity. A moment of fear that makes us reconsider what's important. Your shock is something you've accepted and you're dealing with it."

"And your opportunity?" Stan asked.

Kate followed Stan's gaze out onto the river. She thought about everything that had happened during this week and everything that she had considered. There was really only one answer, wasn't there.

"Well?"

Kate smiled a little and looked at Stan. "Will you be my trainer?"

Stan had a lovely smile when he wanted to, and he unleashed its full power on her as he grinned, knowing she'd made her decision.

"Absolutely. Best hours I'll ever spend. Maybe we could try to keep in better contact this time around...not let _Life_ move us apart."

Kate gave Stan a one-armed hug.

"I'd like that, Stan."

"So you going to tell Vance now?"

"I think I'd better before I start thinking of reasons not to."

Stan chuckled. "I'll help you to his office."

"I know the way."

"But you might get distracted."

Stan started steering Kate toward NCIS. Kate laughed and tried to protest but let him direct their course. As they walked, she thought about how different Stan's choices were than her own. They had life-altering decisions they had made over time, but his had been for very different reasons and they had led him along a path to a place where he wanted to stop...whereas her own choices had led her to a place she loved but needed to leave, at least for a time. As they walked across the balcony to Vance's office, Kate looked down and saw Tim and Tony at their desks. They were looking up at her. Kate smiled and nodded and then walked into the outer office.

"Agent Todd needs to speak with Director Vance," Stan said. "Is he available?"

Kate laughed at Stan's seemingly-domineering attitude.

"It's a good thing I like you," she said softly.

"Why is that?"

"I could take offense at your heavy-handed attitude."

"You said you needed to do this before you changed your mind. I know how fast your mind works."

"Director Vance can see you now."

Kate looked at Stan, raised her eyebrows and took a deep breath. Once she walked in there, the die was cast.

"Are you ready for it, Kate?"

"I'm ready," she said.

And she walked into Vance's office to tell him that she was accepting the Agent Afloat position.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Kate's meeting with Vance ended up taking about half an hour. Stan joined her in the meeting in order to set up the training he'd be giving her. Kate already had a lot of experience as an agent, but the Agent Afloat program was a bit different simply because of the environment, the fact that she'd be the only agent there. It required a different approach. Plus, he was going to give her a refresher course in navigating the twists and turns of an aircraft carrier. Vance made arrangements for Kate to speak to HR and get things set up, and then, too, a chance to talk to the skipper. He would need to get the measure of her before the carrier left port.

After the meeting, Vance asked Stan to stay behind for a few minutes. That gave Kate the chance to go down and tell everyone about her choice. She wasn't sure that she was excited about this part, but it did need to be done.

She walked out onto the balcony and saw Tony and Tim talking to Ziva in low tones. She smiled. They were likely talking about her. That wasn't always the case, but this time, after what Tim had told her, she felt like it wasn't unlikely.

She walked down the stairs and over to them.

"Hey," she said.

They all turned and looked at her.

"Something to say?" Tony asked.

"Yes, I do, Tony," Kate said. "Director Vance offered me a year-long stint as Agent Afloat, and I'm accepting it."

"You're accepting?" Tony asked.

"Yes. I just did, in fact."

"A year?"

"Yes. A year."

"Why a year?"

"Stan requested leave."

"Stan Burley?" Gibbs asked.

He'd come in behind her, showing up out of the blue as he always did. Kate turned around.

"Yeah. Stan Burley."

"Anything wrong?"

"He needed the time off."

"How do _you_ know that?" Tony asked suspiciously.

"We're friends, Tony," Kate said, daring him to ask for more details.

He didn't take the dare.

"This is what you want?" Gibbs asked.

"Yes, Gibbs. I think it's the best thing...and Ziva can have a real desk for a while."

Ziva raised her eyebrows. "Is my desk not already real?"

"You'd be on this team, taking my place while I'm gone."

"Really?"

"How do you feel about that?" Kate asked with a smile.

Ziva turned an appraising look on Tony and Tim.

"I think it will be nice."

Tim grinned. "I think it will be, too," he said.

"How long until you leave?" Gibbs asked.

"I'll start training next week and I'll be shipping out on the HST next month. Stan will be training me."

"I think they will be lucky to have you," Ziva said with a nod.

"Thanks."

"Tony, Tim...go check on Roman. Ziva, go down and see what Abby's found."

Ziva nodded. Tony and Tim knew better than to protest. They grabbed their bags.

"I'm going to throw you the best going-away party ever, Kate!" Tony called back.

"No strippers, Tony!" Kate warned.

"Wouldn't dream of it!"

"Yeah, right."

The elevator doors closed, leaving Kate alone with Gibbs. She looked at him and smiled.

"Do you really want this, Kate?" Gibbs asked.

"Yes, I do. I think it's best for all of us, actually."

Gibbs eloquently raised an eyebrow.

"We've become...complacent, too accepting with the way things are. We don't want them to change. I don't want to change because things have been going well, but I think I need this. I think I need to see what more is out there because I really haven't. I've been here, and I've learned a lot from you and I want to come back here in a year's time, but I think there's more for me to learn."

"Stan said that, too."

Kate smiled sympathetically. "Things can't stay the same, Gibbs. Even if we want it to, that doesn't mean it's best for us. Tim's started worrying about people disappearing, never coming back. Ziva's life has been...surprising to him, but he's too open to hide how he feels for long. I think that my leaving is going to be good for all of us. I hope so...because I'm going. I'm nervous about it, but I think it'll be the best thing."

"Go tell Ducky and Abby."

"Yes, sir," Kate said. Then, she leaned forward and kissed Gibbs on the cheek.

He looked at her, but she just smiled and headed for the elevator, feeling strangely daring. The elevator went down to Autopsy first. Ducky and Jimmy would be happy for her. Abby would not...not at first.

The doors to Autopsy opened and revealed Ducky and Jimmy working on a body as usual.

"Looks like fun," Kate said.

Ducky looked up. "Ah, Caitlin. I dare say that it's not much fun for him, but..." He looked at her more closely. "I think you must have news for us."

"I do."

"You're getting married?" Jimmy asked.

Ducky rolled his eyes.

"Forgive him. He stayed up all night studying for a test he thought was today but is, in fact, next week. He's a little slow."

Kate laughed. "No, Jimmy. I'm not getting married. I'm going on Agent Afloat for a year."

"Wow. Which carrier?"

"The HST."

"Cool. Make sure you take some pictures for us! I've never really been on a carrier before."

"I'll definitely take pictures, Jimmy. Promise," Kate said.

"Excellent."

"You seem much more certain now, Caitlin," Ducky said.

"I am. I'm pretty sure this is the best decision."

"When will you be leaving?"

"Not permanently for another month, but I'll start training next week. With Stan."

"He's a very nice man, Caitlin."

"I know."

Ducky's eyes opened wide and twinkled knowingly.

"Don't go there, Ducky."

"I wouldn't dream of it. I won't pry, but you may feel free to share."

Kate laughed. "Nothing to share. We're friends."

"I see."

Kate rolled her eyes but accepted the hug and kiss that Ducky gave her.

"You will do wonderfully, my dear. I wish you only the best."

"From me, too," Jimmy said.

"Tony's threatened to throw me a party."

"It will be exciting if he does."

"Yeah. That's putting it mildly."

Jimmy laughed out loud and bent back over the body. Ducky joined him but waved as Kate left Autopsy. It was time to tell Abby that she was leaving. Hopefully, Abby wouldn't blow a gasket and would be happy for her.

Outside Abby's lab, Kate paused and took a breath. Whether Abby was happy for her or not, she would nearly suffocate.

She walked in...and was attacked.

"Ziva just told me!" Abby shouted.

"I am sorry, Kate," Ziva said. "I was not sure if you would prefer Abby to know before or not."

Kate tried to see around Abby's hug and smiled at Ziva.

"I don't think it would have made much difference, actually. This would have happened no matter what."

"I'm going to miss you, Kate! You're going to be gone! Are you sure you'll come back?"

"I'm sure, Abby...and I'll still call and email and stuff."

"But it won't be the same."

"Things never are," Ziva murmured.

Kate met Ziva's gaze. If anyone knew that life could change in a moment, it was Ziva. ...but she showed just how much things had changed for her by acknowledging Kate's look and yet smiling.

"I'll miss you, Kate."

"I'll miss you, too, but I'll be back."

"Okay. Then, I'll let you go."

Kate laughed. "Hey, Abby...could you let me go now? I need to breathe!"

Abby laughed and let her go.

"We have to have a girls' weekend before you go," Abby declared. "All three of us."

"And do what?" Ziva asked.

"Whatever," Abby said. "It doesn't matter. We'll figure it out. You have to come, though, Ziva. It has to be a girls' weekend."

"Okay. I think I can work that into my schedule. If I am going to be alone with Tony and Tim for a year, I will need one weekend."

"Oh, group girls' hug!" Abby said and grabbed Ziva. She pulled her into the group and hugged both of them. Ziva didn't do much actual hugging but she didn't pull away either.

After a few seconds, both Kate and Ziva claimed that they needed to go and escaped from Abby's exuberance. As they headed to the bullpen, Ziva looked at Kate.

"You are not doing this for my benefit, I hope. I have appreciated being here. I do not need to take your desk."

Kate smiled. "I'm doing it for myself, Ziva...but I think it will help everyone. Even you. I think it would be a nice change for you to just be on the team without floating around everywhere."

"My father has started to suggest that I return to Israel."

"And you don't want to go?"

Ziva faced the door.

"No. I do not."

"Well, we need you here while I'm gone at least. That will give a good reason to stay...and you can decide what you want to do later."

"Yes. Thank you."

"Ziva?"

"Yes?"

"We're all glad you're here and you're welcome as long as you want to be here."

"Thank you, Kate."

The doors opened and they headed to their separate places.

x.x.x.x.x.x.x

Daniel Roman woke up and was able to give his story, although without many details. Green had hired him to do some work...illegal work, hacking the servers of several different companies. Roman hadn't been trained officially, and so his skills hadn't been known to anyone. When he'd got in over his head, he'd appealed to Shelley who had tried to get him out of it, only to die in Roman's place. Roman had sent the message when Green had begun closing in on him again. He'd hoped to have Green discovered without his involvement being known...but that hadn't worked out. They'd actually managed to finish the case within the week time limit. It was relief to have it done.

When they left that evening, Tony gave more threats of a party. Tim just congratulated Kate again. Ziva was quiet as usual, and Gibbs wasn't there. Kate headed home, knowing that she'd be seeing them all again, but wanting to make a report.

Curled up on her couch with a container of ice cream, Kate called her sister. It had been an exciting week.

"Hey, Rachel."

"_Kate! You must have made a decision. Are you going?"_

"Yeah. I'm going. You were right, Doctor."

"_Ha! Never underestimate the psychiatrist!"_

"I won't."

"_How are you feeling about it?"_

"I'm nervous, but the more I think about it, the more right it seems. After all that happened with Ari...I think it's best if we see that things can change and still be okay."

"_You including yourself in that?"_

"Of course, I am. Besides, there's one good thing about this."

"_Only one?"_

Kate smiled. "I met up with Stan again. He's going to be training me."

"_Well, that sounds promising."_

"Rach, his mom is dying of cancer. He's not going to be interested in anything besides that for a while...but I'm glad to be friends with him again."

"_Methinks the lady doth protest too much."_

"I'm not, Rachel. I'm being realistic. Right now, we can talk and I can learn what I need to, but he has a lot of other things on his mind."

"_Uh-huh. I see. Regardless, I'm really happy for you, Kate. This is a great chance for you, even if you'll be missed. You'd better keep in contact."_

"I will. I wouldn't dream of cutting myself off from everyone. I have too many people I care about to want to lose them."

"_You won't lose anyone by leaving for a few months."_

"Well, I'm leaving."

"_I know. Go for it, sis."_

"I'm going," Kate said and grinned.


	7. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

_One month later..._

Kate looked at the carrier looming up above her. She'd seen it and others but it looked so _big_ right now. A case had come up just that morning keeping her friends from seeing her off. The good-bye parties had been enough as a farewell, but Kate did wish that they had made it. Maybe this wouldn't seem so intimidating if Tony were here cracking jokes. A sigh from beside her distracted her from her rapt contemplation. She looked over.

"Second thoughts, Stan?" she asked.

"Of course," Stan said with a smile, looking at the carrier. "But those second thoughts are quickly followed by third and fourth thoughts that lead me back to my first thoughts...which are what dominate."

Kate laughed.

"And you?" he asked.

"Only worry that I won't be able to cut it, but I hope that will fade as I start working."

"The skipper likes you. You're good at your job. You'll be fine."

"Right."

"And the first time they cross you will teach all those sailors that you're no doormat."

"They'd better not try treating me like one."

"Well, in my experience, they're pretty respectful of authority so long as that respect is reciprocated."

"Sounds like a good plan to me."

Stan tore his eyes away from the carrier and looked at Kate.

"You know what, Kate?"

"What?"

Stan leaned in and kissed her quickly.

"You'll knock 'em dead."

"Thanks, Stan."

"You'd better get on board. You don't want them waiting on you...like some girl."

Kate laughed but then her smile softened a bit.

"Stan, keep in touch this time, okay? Let me know how things are going."

"I will...or at least, I'll try. Give me a long-distance head slap every so often and I'll start learning my lesson."

"It's a deal." Kate hefted her two duffels and walked up the gangplank onto the carrier.

The skipper came down to meet her.

"Welcome aboard the HST, Agent Todd. I'll show you to your quarters and your office."

"Thanks, skipper."

"It's going to be a bit of an adjustment, having a female Agent Afloat, but I think you'll be fine, and my sailors had better toe the line...and they know it."

"I'm not worried, skipper."

He slapped her on the back. "Excellent, Agent Todd. Welcome aboard."

Kate looked back once and waved at Stan. He waved back and then headed off to his responsibilities. Kate looked around at the deck once more and then followed the skipper. This was about as frightening as joining NCIS had been.

...and look how well that had turned out.

With a smile, Kate headed off to start her new position.

FINIS!


End file.
